Kate Waddon Copywriting

It had to happen. I knew I’d end up blogging about the apostrophe sooner or later. Today – the vexed question of do’s and don’ts. Or dos and don’ts.  Or just “do’s”.

I first remember pondering this a few years ago, after reading a salon sign that offered “ Hairdo’s”. First thought – has anyone actually had a “hairdo” since the 1960s? Second thought – hum, apostrophe. Shortly afterwards I saw a catering van offering “food and beverages to suit do’s of all sizes”. My gut reaction was typical – is it acceptable to apply Tipp-Ex to someone else’s property in the name of correct punctuation?

But some innate sixth sense of pedantry told me that it wasn’t that straightforward , so I spoke with my Grammar Guru (everyone should have one).  “Do’s has to have an apostrophe”, said The Wise One. “Otherwise readers wouldn’t be able to make sense of it or pronounce it, and that catering van would be offering food to a Microsoft disc operating system, which would just be weird.”

So, lesson learned – I could write “I have been to a lot of hen do’s this summer” and be absolutely correct (although the statement itself is disappointingly untrue). But it did feel dirty.

However, ten short years later and the do’s and don’ts of dos and don’ts has changed (don’t say that the world of grammar and punctuation is a staid and boring place – it’s fast-paced! It moves forward!). There’s a lot of debate on this.

I’m not sure if I’d go to The Guardian for spelling advice; however its Style Guide is splendid, and they say “dos and don’ts”. (Quick aside – while looking into this, I learned that the correct way of writing Homer Simpson’s famous uttering is “D’oh!”) The Oxford Style Guide uses the “dos” version. However, that doesn’t mean that “do’s” has become a Tipp-Ex case: the University of Central Lancashire’s journalism website comments that “probably the only legitimate reason for using an apostrophe to form a plural is in dealing with lower-case letters, as in mind your p’s and q’s or in referring to do’s and don’ts.”

By the time I’d scrolled down my second Google page, even I was bored. Yes, I am one of the anal breed who care about apostrophes. A single misplaced apostrophe can destroy professional credibility with one simple hit of a key. But – it’s not worth losing sleep or wasting time over. If you’re not sure, stick to a style guide that you trust and refer back to it to double-check your writing. If the BBC and The Times are using certain conventions, they are probably safe. The Guardian’s Style Guide is good, as I mentioned above. Or, just employ a good proof-reader (smiles winningly).

So, both versions are acceptable, but I’ve decided to go with “dos” as the preferred contemporary option. This is a rare occasion where you can follow your heart apostrophe-wise – just be consistent (and consistency is definitely on my list of dos and don’ts).

A wonderfully wordy friend pointed me in the direction of “50 things you had no idea they had a word for.” (Yes, I know it’s another post based on a link I was sent – but hey, it’s the school summer holidays…)

I knew only five of the fifty (and surely “rasher” is just there to make up the numbers) so have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know the other forty-five. It’s probably the closest we get to understanding the joy young children get from learning new words. I love watching my two when they discover a word. They try it out, they roll it round their mouths; it’s like they are tasting it. And then with sheer delight they repeat it, at various pitches, until they’ve captured and fixed it. “Hey, I knew that was a Thing, but now it’s Thing with a name!”

And this lovely list gives names to Things we know but didn’t have a word for. I’ve always loved the smell of the air after rain – and now I know I’m experiencing “petrichor”. What I’ve always called “dad dancing” can actually be referred to by its proper name of “balter” (less offensive to fathers); and I was delighted to learn that “Oh **$@!!!^^%?” is called “grawlix”. I was taught to cross my t’s, but had never appreciated that I had to tittle my i’s. (Ooh, lots of little red squiggly lines as I type. And I’m not even gambrinous…)

Of course (here comes the serious bit), it’s wonderful to learn new words, even at my advanced age, and great fun to try them out on people. But aside from this blog post, you won’t be coming across them in my writing. There’s no point in cluttering up copy with obscure and overcomplicated words, however appealing they are. It’s not a sign of intellectual superiority to use “long words” for the sake of it – unless you know your reader shares your lexicon or you’re engaged in writing technical or professional text, it’s just a sign of failure to communicate.

So it’s unlikely you’ll see any of these gorgeous terms on my website again – no “i” tittling here. In that case, for one last time – I shall have a quick pandiculate then go and do some runcation in the garden.

It’s marvellous being a copywriter in Cornwall. And no, it’s not because I get to bunk off and go surfing– it’s because the language down here is an absolute joy.

So, when a friend posted a link to 22 words that take on a whole new meaning in Cornwall, I just had to share it.

There is a vaguely serious point in this – be aware of your vocabulary and your idiom, the specific, figurative expressions found in your language and dialect.  I once wrote a couple of web pages for a (Cornish) client who works mainly with American customers. Going through my first draft with him I was pulled up by the amount of UK English idioms I had peppered the text with. Like “pulled up”, and “peppered”.

In these global days, it’s always worth thinking about just how many versions of our lovely language there are. Phrases that we use every day may make very little sense to another English speaker. I wrote the web copy for an international marine company recently, and had to be extremely conscious that as well as UK and US English, many readers would not be first-language English speakers. This probably means that their grammar and vocabulary are far better than mine, however I may inadvertently use throw-away terms (there’s one) that they are unfamiliar with.

At the moment, all my clients are British, with mainly British-based clients themselves. Even so, it’s worth remembering that clarity is the most important thing, and elaborate idioms are of very little benefit. And as most of my clients are from the other side of the Tamar they may get busy with Track Changes if I start copywriting in Cornish – “We can deliver anywhere upcountry: first class, guaranteed next day or dreckly”…

“Madder do ee?”*  Well yes, it does.

*Does it matter?

“See those blue circles on the window?” I said to my friend over coffee at the swimming pool cafe. “Those are manifestation dots. They’re needed by law in public places to stop us from walking into large windows.”

“Writing about glass then?” she replied.

Stick with me, kids – the conversational possibilities are endless. Copywriters are either the world’s best or most irritating dinner party guests. Our knowledge bank of “random stuff”, built up over years of working on a variety of projects, means we can generally find something to talk about.

I’ve discussed the problems of psittacosis in pet parrots with great empathy (never owned one); waxed lyrical about the types of portaloo available these days; and when there were problems with our local water supply, I become positively overheated about the benefits of dosage pumps.

But of course, I’m not really an expert at all – and does that matter? Well, Winchester Cathedral copy and I get on pretty well because my background is in heritage (and as you may have noticed, I have a bit of a thing for the Middle Ages). My first proper copy job was for an HR company; as I’ve been an HR manager, the background for that job was easy-peasy and a lovely starting place for my new life as a freelancer. Oil rig insurance? That was a different matter…

New clients ask if I’ve written about or have any prior knowledge of their particular product or service. Sometimes I have, frequently I know a bit in a vague, everyday sort of way, occasionally I know nothing whatsoever about it (ahem, oil rig insurance). But it really doesn’t matter. I always ask clients for as much information as they can give me right at the start of a project; and I always ask them to check each draft for technical accuracy. They are the experts, not me; the copywriter is there to capture and communicate the information in the best way possible.

Not having a background in a subject can be key. Sometimes it takes a layman to explain things to a layman, which is perhaps why I write a lot of web copy for engineers, contractors and various specialist builders and suppliers. Their customers are rarely experts and don’t want to encounter a wall of technical terms, acronyms and a whole new (frankly bizarre-sounding) vocabulary.  Likewise, we all hate being talked down to, and the “informing-without-patronising” tone is one I’m often asked to write in.

By the end of a project, my brain is buzzing from the sheer joy of learning about new stuff. Do I remember it? The honest answer is yes I do, but not in huge detail. When a project is over, I retain enough information to enlighten/entertain/bore my friends; but my focus has moved on to the next job, and I’ll be immersing myself in that topic.

But I love the term “manifestation dots”.  And you never know, one day I could find myself searching for small-talk with the owner of very large windows…

I love writing catalogue copy, the challenge of telling stories with so few words. There’s a feeling of becoming a ten-second expert before moving on to the next product. The work is fast and fun; and a new catalogue job always results in excited squeaks and an instant flurry of typing.

My first catalogue copy job was about plush snakes, aimed at the zoo and museum gift shop market (“cuddly-with-a-difference”).  Writing catalogue text is a great exercise in the diverse and esoteric. I’ve recently written a bit of copy for an online shapewear supplier. There’s lots of jolliness to be had in the world of Spanx (copy-wise); and the big-sisterly tone is a total joy to write in. Earlier this year, I wrote and copy-edited for a coffee supplier’s online shop: as a confirmed caffeine addict, you have no idea how wired I was by the time I’d worked on this for a few days. I could almost smell the beans as I was writing; absolutely lush. Food and drink catalogue text has its own wonderful vocabulary – and I’ll leave it at that, as this sounds like the basis for a later blog…

Over the last couple of years, I’ve had the pleasure of working for Winchester Cathedral’s online shop. Writing for Winchester sometimes feels like window-shopping rather than work; I’m mentally putting together my Christmas lists as I compose the copy. The cathedral shop sells the kind of stock you would expect a cathedral shop to sell – various editions of the Bible, souvenir mugs and so on – however, they have all sorts of other gorgeous products, from Lladro figures for the serious collector through to wooden Noah’s Ark toys, and some fantastic stuff inspired by the cathedral’s architecture, history and characters. They keep the stock fresh by adding to it and changing it throughout the year (luckily for me), which is a huge advantage online catalogues have over paper ones.

One of the many reasons I enjoy writing catalogue copy for Winchester’s online shop is that aside from the physical description, we have the space for a sentence of two about the background of the product. For example, if we’re telling the customers about a new Green Man garden wall plaque, we can explain briefly how the Green Man is a motif found all over Northern Europe, curiously pagan for something that appears in cathedrals, and is believed to represent fertility. That’s a bit more engaging than “Stone-effect weather-proof garden ornament”  – and that’s why businesses use copywriters to create their catalogue copy.

Yes, the factual stuff needs to be in place, but the space the web guys allow for “Product Description” is also there for your sales pitch. A terse product name alongside its price and dimensions is not going to capture the wavering purchaser. An awareness of SEO (search engine optimisation) in the product copy is also going to help you win customers.

Crafting little histories for products is an art in itself. Have a browse through Winchester Cathedral’s online shop to see how the client and I worked together to create product descriptions that do more than just describe.

(Oh, and if the editors of the catalogues that fall out of the Radio Times are reading this, I’d love that gig. Now that would be an exercise in diversity…)

Follow Steph Jeavons on her journey as she and her bike Rhonda the Honda circumnavigate the globe.

I had the pleasure of working with (and having the odd beer with) the marvellous Steph a few years ago. As you’d expect from her blog, she is warm, funny and fantastically bold. But I’m not highlighting her blog just because I know her, or even because of her incredible adventure.  It’s because her writing is wonderful; and I love the way that this medium builds audiences for talented bloggers who do not consciously style themselves “Writers” (with a big W). For immersive, descriptive blogging, this is fabulous stuff. And she’s writing in a tent – huge respect.

http://www.stephmoto-adventurebikeblog.com/

Another FAQ I get is “How did you get into copywriting?” We copywriters come from a variety of backgrounds; in my case, heritage and tourism. This probably explains why my original influence is an unexpected one – a little-known figure from the Middle Ages.

The itinerant scribe. These chaps (I’ve never heard of a female one) set up their little stalls at markets and Ye Olde Fayres, and offered their scribing services. They’d write anything (I’m resisting the urge to add “dot.com” to that). Legal documents, formal letters, I like to think informal letters too, notes for loved ones… I could do that! I thought. But I could do it, like, in these days! Not in a market! Indoors! With a laptop!

When I was deciding what career route to take, freelance writing seemed the obvious choice. I’ve always written. Whatever role I was in, I always got the writing gigs. From writing other people’s essays at school in exchange for contraband (don’t judge me) to the riveting “Checkout Evening Close-Down Procedure Manual” at A Big Supermarket, I always seemed to attract the wordy jobs. And then, during my Heritage Years, I was actually let loose on interpretation panels for visitors – and I loved it. So, with thousands of words behind me and the image of the little medieval scribbler in my mind, off I went.

Several years later, I still love it. I wonder if my medieval predecessor enjoyed the variety of his work. Like him, the contemporary copywriter will compose whatever the clients require – unlike him, we have discerning, educated clients who can actually read what we’ve written. I know that copywriting is not really a direct descendant of medieval scribing – but there is something rather wonderful to think of professional jobbing writers across the ages, metaphorically setting out our stalls and writing whatever you need.

“Just think about it”, said a fellow freelance copywriter when I was an innocent young newbie. “Everything you read – instructions, the back of the wine bottle, the car manual – was written by somebody. Usually people like us, just sitting in their houses being normal and drinking coffee.”

We were working on my first package copywriting job. This was a professional Damascene moment: the world was full of gaps that needed to be filled with informative text, and I was one of the people that could do that! All that potential…

These days, I never switch off. I proofread menus. I go to a gallery and don’t even notice the paintings because I’m entranced by the language on the label. I will get halfway down a set of assembly instructions then get completely distracted by the text. Writing is everywhere, and all of it was written by somebody.

So here I sit, quietly blogging away before I continue with today’s project. Next time you read the label on some everyday item or other, there’s a chance that it’s written by a freelance copywriter, possibly in their own kitchen, probably wearing clothes they’d never go to the office in, definitely with a cuppa. I’m the anonymous voice of your biscuit pack – funny old life, really.

Like many freelancers, most of my work is carried out remotely. I occasionally have new clients expressing concern that they won’t actually meet me, and I think it’s reasonable to feel apprehensive about this. After all, how can you build rapport with someone you never see?

Based in Cornwall, I rarely get to attend actual meetings. Many of my clients are at least 100 miles away (or “upcountry” as we all call it, with a lovely geographical vagueness). At the tip of the country, West Cornwall has a rich seam of freelance creatives: here, remote working is a cultural norm.

Of course, we have some great technological assistants: Skype and FaceTime are fantastic and accessible to most people, and the good, old-fashioned telephone shouldn’t be forgotten. Sharing photographs and short films helps the writer get the sense of a place without going on site. However, copywriters have an extra advantage – we specialise in communicating with people we never meet.

Copywriters build rapport. Simple – it’s what we do. Most of our working lives are spent speaking to clients’ audiences. Our very job is to communicate remotely. We can adapt this skill to ensure that our client-contractor relationships still develop the empathy that good ongoing working partnerships have. And as many clients also specialise in customer communication in their various businesses, they too have the skills to manage remote relationships.

Of course, remote working has other tangible advantages. It can certainly save the client money – travel expenses, plus the cost of bringing people in for meetings. I will often come off the phone with a client and get straight on with the job, with no time wasted and everything fresh in my mind. It’s an effective way to work. I have regular clients that I’ve never met – although if we ever find ourselves in the same place, I’d love to go for a coffee!

So, don’t worry if you never meet your copywriter face-to-face. We can build an excellent remote working relationship and produce some great work – together.

Here are some of the reasons why I think freelance copywriters are one of life’s little essentials. OK that’s an exaggeration; however from a business perspective, hiring a writer can make a huge difference to your project…

Freelance copywriters save a lot of time

Back in the day when I was a manager, I hired a freelance copywriter to produce our web copy. I was sneakily envious but she did a great job; and much as I wanted to do it myself, I genuinely did not have the time.  I often work with clients who find the job of producing the text daunting – not because they can’t write well but simply because of the hours and headspace required for writing. It just keeps dropping to the bottom of the to-do list – a big reason why projects such as new websites don’t run to schedule. Tell your web design team that you’ve outsourced your content to a professional writer and they’ll probably cheer.

Freelance copywriters save a lot of money

This always sounds a bit cheeky as you have to pay us, but think about it. We’re efficient writers that can focus on the job (see above) so naturally our speed of writing will be greater than that of a manager or employee; and we all live by that old “time is money” mantra.  We don’t have any impact on the daily running of the business. Plus, we come with no business on-costs (see below). Bargain.

You don’t need to look after us

In these tough times, freelancers are a marvellous resource. We appear, we do the job, then we go again. We’re not lurking about during those times when business is slower. We don’t ask for (irony alert) pesky, self-absorbed things like holidays, sick leave or maternity pay. We don’t need space, equipment or regular feeding. We don’t even use your electricity.

Freelance copywriters have that essential distance

We’re all close to our own businesses – and a good thing too, as businesses need that bit of heart and soul. The downside of being passionate about your product/services/team is that is makes it hard to write about them objectively. A freelance copywriter can step in, step back and write what your customer needs to read.

We write good copy – whatever the subject

It really doesn’t matter what your business is. From Easter eggs to engineering (that was my February), for a professional copywriter, writing is writing. Provided we have the accurate information, good copywriters can add that gloss that makes text readable, whatever the subject. (And we really come into our own if you suspect that your product may be a little, well, dull…)

And what does good copy do? See below…

Good copy gets results

Good copywriting will help establish your identity, build rapport with your target audience(s) and support your brand values (there’s no point banging on about professionalism and attention-to-detail if the writing is inaccurate). We all know this; and to be honest, I have lost count of the amount of copywriting blogs with this header: however it’s not a cliché – I prefer to see it as a truism.

All I will add is that you wouldn’t use photos taken on your friend’s phone to advertise your product. The same principle of professionalism should be applied to the written word.

This list of benefits, as they say, is not exhaustive – but all good writers should know when to stop.